


A new day, everyday

by Todae_is_a_present



Category: BIGBANG - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Happy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-12-22 11:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11966322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todae_is_a_present/pseuds/Todae_is_a_present
Summary: Waking up to a new day, is it refreshing or tiring? What if time doesn't move forward? How do you love?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Right, I'm starting a new series here without ever finishing my older works on another site. FML. I may or may not cross post this elsewhere.

 

  

  
The first thing he notices when he opened his eyes was that the walls were pink.

So very pink.

He looks around the room, it's definitely his room but at the same time it isn't. He remembered his room was white, but he didn't feel surprised nor shocked by the current pink walls.

That said, he still doesn't like to be put in unfamiliar situations, therefore he still isn't in the best of moods.

He checks the calendar, crossing out another date on the glossy paper. 'Another new day...' He thinks, flipping back the calendar pages. An odd feeling causes anxiety to surge through him as he flips the pages, noting the crossed out dates. Something was not right with him, he knows, but he can't tell what was wrong. He searches through his mind but nothing came up. He did, however, recall meeting his favorite of the two youngest members out for dinner. He checks the calender, more than two months ago. _'That is weird.'_ He thinks, it didn't seem so long ago, like yesterday.

A knock on his room door snaps him out of his train of thoughts.

"Come in." He calls.

The handle depresses and the door cracks open. A head pops through the wide gap.

"Good morning, Seunghyun hyung!" A cheerful voice calls back.

Ah, just the person he was thinking about. He smiles back at the younger, his smile hopelessly fond as always when it came to Daesung.

"Daesung. What brings you here this early?" Seunghyun asks, trying to mask the happiness bubbling in him.

"Well, I do have your door's lock code and you did promise me breakfast." Daesung smiles at him, albeit somewhat lackluster.

Seunghyun notices a strange tilt in the younger's voice, a nuance he had heard in the past but unable to put a memory to it, a note of wistfulness.

"I did?" Seunghyun was honestly confused.

"Yes, I swear you did, hyung. Now will you go wash up or do I have to drag you out looking like you just got up from bed?" Even though the younger seemed as bubbly as ever. Regardless of that, Seunghyun sees it now, that hint of sadness in the otherwise winsome smile.

"Give me twenty." Seunghyun throws over his shoulder, making his way to the connecting bathroom. He couldn't shake off the feeling that something isn't very right with Daesung nor himself.

"Everyday..." Daesung murmurs to himself but was heard by the older man's elfish ears. The word was heavy, explicitly despondent.

Seunghyun turns around, just in time to catch a glimspe of an uncharacteristic frown on the younger man face.

"The frown does not become you, Daesungie. Want to share what's bothering you?" He asks, voice full of concern.

"No, it's fine. Nothing that you wouldn't forget soon enough." With a shake of his head and a wan curve on his lips, Daesung left the room.

Instead of going to the bathroom after the younger left, he went to his desk, takes out his diary and flips to a fresh page, where his bookmark was, and began to write.

 

_Friday, xx/xx/2017_

_Dear diary,_

_My angel is sad. I was happy to see him but now, I'm not so sure. It's still early, I'll see if he cheers up later._

_Also, where did the days go?_

 

Seunghyun places the book back into its usual place and proceeds with his morning routine.

A soothing croon floats through the doorway as Seughyun opens the door. Unlike the powerful voice its owner possesses, this was soft, a tone Seunghyun had never heard before from the man. Whilst Daesung always had a knack for being highly expressive with his singing, this was very much different, it sounded like desperation and unshed tears, naked and raw.

His chest tightens painfully with a profound sadness, eyes burning with tears forcing their way out. Seunghyun feels like an intruder, intruding on a moment he was never meant to witness.

But he knows something is definitely not right.

His gut tells him that it's him.

"It's me, isn't it?" The words rolling off his tongue before he can stop them.

Daesung snaps his head around, obviously shocked by the sudden interruption.

A smile appears on his face automatically.

A smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

A smile that unsettles Seunghyun.

"You're done! Let's go, hyung." Daesung bounces up to the older man in forced cheerfulness, blatantly brushing the question aside.

"Stop, Daesung, just stop." Seunghyun stops the younger, cupping the round face with his hands.

Daesung cocks his head and looks at Seunghyun questioningly.

"It's me, isn't it?"

"What do you mean, hyung?" Daesung returns the question, the fake smile still plastered on his face.

"Everything's wrong. The date's wrong, the day's wrong, the walls are wrong and you..." Seunghyun rushes and pauses to breathe in deeply, desperately reining in his erratic emotions. "You are wrong..." He exhales.

"No, hyung. None of those are wrong, especially not you. Nor I." The mask fell, revealing the true Daesung, crestfallen and exhuasted. "Everyday is a new day, hyung, everything will be just fine. Let's just get on with today." Daesung pleads.

Seunghyun wraps his arms around the younger man and pulls him in, holding him tight, for comfort.

For himself and for Daesung.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"For?" Daesung asks.

"Just..." 

Daesung doesn't push for more, the single word already told of more than a story.

"It's alright. You'll forget about everything tomorrow." There it is again, that tilt present in his tone, stronger than before. "It's alright."

Seunghyun decides to ask him about that the next day, when Daesung feels better. He knows better than to push the younger man into a corner where he'll most likely clamp up.

 _'Yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day.'_ He thinks.

But he doesn't know that it's not that simple.


	2. Chapter 2

  

The figure sleeping beside him stirred, yet not awaking. That silhouette he could recognize even if he was senile, but how he came to be in his bed eludes Seunghyun. He himself being barely able to shake off the haziness of slumber.

From the moment he woke up, nothing made sense in his groggy mind. The colour of the walls weren't right, for one.

Pink, for fuck's sake. He likes the color, his favorite in fact, it was pubilc knowledge but had he projected that onto his white walls turning them pink?

He slipped out from under the covers and shivered as his naked body came into contact with the air-conditioned surroundings.

Why the fuck was he naked?

Cupping his nether regions, he made a dash to the adjoining bathroom. Stepping into the shower, he turned the water on to the hottest he could bear and lets the steaming water heat up his bare skin. Next came brushing his teeth and his basic skincare routine.

The reflection staring back at him looked a tad older than it should, a white band streaked through otherwise black as charcoal hair at his right sideburn. He frowned but chucked that to the back of his mind, blaming stress.

He spotted in the mirror a dark mark on his chest. It looked like a hickey. He thought about the man in his bed. Again, he did not think much about it, since the was no way on earth he would have not remembered doing the deed with him.

Not a chance.

So many questions, not one answer he could put to any of them. He dressed up and went to the only person who might be able to help him.

"Daesung. Oi, Daesung, wake up." He whipped the blanket aside and shook the muscular shoulders.

Daesung responded, stretching the sleepiness out of his sore body, displaying his luxurious figure bereft of even a single stitch. "Mmm…" A little moan escaped the back of his throat.

Seunghyun stared long and hard at dark haired Adonis, and that wasn't the only thing long and hard about him right now. The single mark adorning the base of Daesung's neck added to his appeal as well as serving a confirmation of sorts.

"Daesung, last night…" He started.

"Hmm? Last night? It's fine. It happens." Daesung replied, rubbing his eyes with an arm and worming back into the warm confines of the blanket, instantly transforming back to the innocent five -year-old.

"It happens? It happened before?" Seunghyun persisted, every moment becoming more confusing.

"Hmm, who knows?" It was a lazy reply, Daesung knew, but there wasn't a point in giving a detailed explanation. He was tired and broken. ' _Oh, hyung, if you only knew_.' He thinks, seeking the comfort of dreamless sleep.

Seeing as Daesung was reluctant to tell him more, he turns to his phone. He looked around and spotted two identical phones on the bedside table, neither the make he owned. But one of those must be his since no other was in sight.

He turned both on, the lock screen pictures popped up. One was a black and white picture of Daesung at the seaside, taken by Jiyong; the other was of a selfie he had taken with Daesung. He first tried the one with the selfie, but was unable to unlock the phone. Giving up the lost cause, he moved onto the other phone and managed to unlock it with his thumbprint. It made sense, he had always considered that photograph Jiyong took a masterpiece.

He left the room stealthily, as not to disturb the sleeping man, and called the first person who came to mind, Jiyong.

"Hello?" A high pitched voice, unmistakably Jiyong's, answered after the third ring.

"Jiyong ah, it's me, Seunghyun." He announced himself because they had private numbers.

"Yes, hyung. What's up?"

"Daesung's in my bed. Naked." He blurted.

"Mmm-hmm." Jiyong hummed an acknowledgement.

"With a hickey. And I have one too."

"Mmm-hmm." Jiyong hummed again, apparently not surprised by his confession.

"I don't remember if we did it."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"I did, but he won't tell me anything."

"Then why did you call me?" Always the mischievous man, Jiyong teased him. "Not like I was there for a threesome. Or was I?"

"Oh, fuck you, Ji!"

"No need. You already did Daesung."

Without so much as a farewell, Seunghyun hung up, feeling more flustered than before. He proceeded to call up Youngbae, Daesung's confidant and neighbour.

As usual, he offered his name and greetings as the other party answer and quickly explained his predicament.

"Why don't talk to Daesung?"

"He doesn't want to tell me, Youngbae."

"I can see why." Youngbae mused.

"What do you mean?" He was getting frustrated. Answers were what he needed, yet more questions was what he got.

"No, it's nothing." A minute of slience hung on the line before Youngbae started talking again. "Look, hyung, if Daesung doesn't explain, it's probably nothing. You know him, he likes to keep things to himself. So, ease off, you'll be over it soon."

Youngbae hung up, leaving Seunghyun more puzzled than ever. Over it soon? Him? Given his character to overthink things, it wasn't likely.

Troubled, he back to his room and to his desk and took out his diary and opened it. The book sat opened in his hands, the handwriting familiar but not the words. With every page he flipped, so did his stomach. He had no recollections of writting those entries, much less remembering the actual events. He stopped at a random page and started to read.

  


  


  
_Monday, xx/xx/2017_

_Dear diary,_

_I can't seem to hold on to my mind. Thoughts and time constantly eludes me. Why do I not remember the days past? Daesung won't say anything and the members are just humoring me._

_Daesung came over today, looking as hamster-ish as ever. We went for lunch at Samgeori, after which we went over to YG. The staff seemed puzzled to see me. President talked about an accident but Daesung shushed him. I tried asking Teddy hyung but only received the same answer everyone else gave me, 'it's going to be fine.'_

_But I'm not fine! Can't anyone see? Someone please help me!!!_

  


  


  
He flipped it back to the latest entry, checking the date against the calender, it was yesterday's all right.

  


  


  
_Thursday, xx/xx/2017_

_Dear diary,_

_Today, Daesung brought me to the doctor's to get a check up. The doctor talked about the accident a year ago. A year ago?! What accident? Why can't I remember it? Why can't I remember?_

_He says I'm fine, healthy and well taken care of and compliments Daesung for his patience and tenacity for caring for me. I don't need to be taken care of! I don't... Am I a burden to Daesung?_

_He say I'm not._

_He says he wants to._

_But he looks so sad._

_He told me a year ago, we were in an accident and I became like that._

_  
_

  


  
_'Accident? I was in an accident a year ago? What did he meant by "like that"?'_  Questions swirled in his mind.

"Hyung, are you hungry?" Daesung asked from where he still laid, breaking up his train of thoughts. The blanket had been abandoned and the man lay fully exposed, lying on his side and head propped on his hand.

"I... I don't have an appetite." Seunghyun replied.

"Come here. Let's see if we can work one into you."

Obediently, he walked over.

Defiantly, he kept his distance.

"Tell me, Daesung, what is wrong with me? What happened in that accident?"

"Please. I need you now." Daesung told him instead.

"I need to know, Daesung."

Daesung crawled across the bed and knelt, bringing him to the same height as Seunghyun, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck, pulling them closer chest to chest. "And I need you. Now." He whispered into Seunghyun's ear seductively.

It was wrong of him to do this, he knows. But each time Seunghyun asks the same questions, he hurts. It hurts because Seunghyun will never be able fall in love with him more than this.

Because he knows they won't have a future.

Seunghyun lowered Daesung onto the bed, his body covering Daesung's as he descended to feast upon that luscious being.

  


... _Seunghyun drapped himself over Daesung as the headlights fast approached... "I love you..."_

_  
_

A tear slid down the corner of Daesung's eye as pleasure took him, overriding the pain.

For him, a momentary freedom.

For Seunghyun, maybe permanently.

And soon it will be a new day for him...


End file.
